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Guidance Needed
 Moderated by: DrDeb  
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Patchwork Pony
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Joined: Mon May 1st, 2017
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 Posted: Mon May 15th, 2017 12:41 pm
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No, sorry on all counts. What I was trying to tell you is I understand you use the Socratic method of teaching but at my age and where I am right now with my horse I need a little more direct guidance instead of running down rabbit holes looking for the information I need. Yes I am looking for an item to begin working with my mare because I would rather get it right from the beginning because I have a smaller window of opportunity to get it right.
If you knew me you would know I don't care what other people think. You are not qualified, my dear, to be any ones shrink, even though you believe you are. I have no need of a sister and I have very good friends. You have simply got information that would help my horse.
Unlike you, I will not attack you personally because it is so unprofessional. I'll continue to wade through the material I have and not bother you any more because I don't have time for your games.

DrDeb
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Joined: Fri Mar 30th, 2007
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 Posted: Mon May 15th, 2017 02:24 pm
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Patch, if you want help from me, then you will have to accept getting the help in the way that I offer it. Otherwise, you're welcome to go to Twitter or Facebook and bawl your eyes out there. We don't do that here.

Longtime readers of this Forum will recognize the pattern where Patch accuses me of making a personal attack and/or of being "unprofessional". What Patch may eventually discover -- if she is lucky and works at looking into herself hard enough -- is that this is a kind of first line of defence, a reaction that people have when their initial plan (i.e. to make me into their shrink, their sister, or their special girlfriend) does not work out.

Patch, you are very confused in thinking that any of my 'Socratic' questions are meant to lead you down a rabbit hole that is irrelevant or goes nowhere useful. Your problem is that the particular rabbit hole you need to go down is one that you do not want to go down -- it's a rabbit hole all about getting rid of neediness, whininess, dependency, smarmy artificial closeness. This is very common and as I said, longtime readers here have seen it many times before. Those issues all have to be totally cleared out before you'll be able to make even the first tiny step of progress in learning how to succeed with horses. Now, Patch, you wrote in here looking for guidance, and the teacher has given you exactly that: the firm guidance you really need. This, then, is your homework.

So you think this through, Patch, and if you get to a point in personal courage where you can write a brief description of the horse you are CURRENTLY working with, a horse you are ACTUALLY IN PROCESS WITH -- and you describe some problem you're having in that process, or you make some observation about that process or you like to share an insight that came out of that process -- then that is what this space is for, and your communication will then be welcome. -- Dr. Deb


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